This Saturday night, till Sunday sunset is Tisha B'av- the saddest day of the Jewish year. It's a fast day that commemorates many pitfalls in Jewish history, including the destruction of both Temples. Our ancient rabbis taught that the temples were both destroyed because of "sinat chinum" - baseless hatred. We were unkind to one another, we treated one another as less than, with indifference, with hate, with spite.

I do not think much has changed to be honest. I think hate is deeply alluring, it's something we tend to be attracted to. We even celebrate it, thinking it to be a source of power and strength.

Hate has it's own sick and twisted feeling of satisfaction to it. It's a dark well of isolation that somehow feels both ugly and good at the same time.
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If we are honest with ourselves, I think this is something we can all understand and all experience. The biggest issue with hate is not its presence, but that we really like it; that we would prefer to keep and cherish it. We don't want to change, we are content with our contempt.

I don't think I will ever truly and sincerely desire to be rid of my hate unless I am unafraid to look at it and see with total honesty the true destruction it causes in my life and in the world. Otherwise, hate just feels too good to want to let it go.

I ask for help from the Source of all that knows no hate. And yet I know I am stubborn and resistant to change. And so in the very least, I ask that I may just move a bit further along on the journey of forgiveness. Even just a little. Help me do this, I cannot do this on my own.
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This Tisha B'av I will fast with the intention to move one step closer to excavating what I know in my deepest heart I truly do not want. It goes without saying the significance of fasting right now, as so many people in Gaza are dying of starvation and malnutrition. As I fast to heal the hate inside, I do this b'zchut, for the benefit of, my brothers and sisters in Gaza, to those who are actually starving. Join me if you will.
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Hate got us into this situation, lets devote this day to taking one small step in breaking the cycle.

Journey Into Fear​
I recently came across a beautiful section from A Course in Miracles, a section that was apparently edited out and later placed back in in the Complete Edition. It feels deeply appropriate right now. Taken from the section The Journey into Fear
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"You do not realize how much you hate your brother. ²You will not get rid of this until you do realize it, for until then you will think you want to get rid of him and keep the hatred. ³Yet if he is your salvation, what can this mean except that you prefer attack to salvation? ⁴Be glad that neither your reality nor your salvation is a matter of your preference, for you have much cause for joy. ⁵But that the cause is not of your making is surely obvious. ⁶You do hate and fear him, and your love, which is very real, is totally obscured by it. ⁷How can you know the meaning of love unless it is total?
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This will be a very difficult period for you, but it will not be so for long. ²You cannot remain in darkness, and this will be the way out. ³Look as calmly as you can upon your hatred, for if we are to deny the denial of truth, we must first recognize what we are denying. ⁴Remember that knowledge precedes denial, and that the separation was a descent from magnitude to littleness. ⁵And so the way back is to retrace the way to magnitude.
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Your hatred is not real, but it is real to you. ²It hides what you really want. ³Surely you are willing to look upon what you do not want without fear, even if it frightens you, if you can thereby get rid of it? ⁴For you cannot escape salvation, and you will not escape fear until you want salvation. ⁵Be not afraid of this journey into fear, for it is not your destination. ⁶And we will walk through it in safety, for peace is not far and you will be led in its light."
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[CE T-12.III.1-4] https://acimce.app/:T-12.III.1-4​

The core message of this section is that we need to admit the presence of the hate in order to release it. Sickness has to happen in order to be healed of it. If our darkness remains obscure and hidden, we will never have the opportunity to release it.

May this time bring us one step closer on the journey of healing. Remember too that sometimes getting closer doesn't mean we will "feel better", it just means we are moving forward along the path. We have to trust this sometimes.

One day we will simply forget to hate because we no longer value it as much. We forget about things we don't care about.

And with that, I close this article with a quote from the late Rebbe Ozbourne:

"Maybe, it's not too late. To learn how to love, and forget how to hate."